I Love My Bed

I love my bed. It’s wonderful. It’s a queen size waterbed. It’s provided some of the best moments of my life.

I live in a small house, seven hundred square feet total, so by the time you get a queen size waterbed and some dressers in one of the bedrooms, there’s not much leftover space.

The head of my bed is up against a wall.

The far side of the bed is just far enough from the wall to allow me to walk sideways alongside the bed in order to make it up.

The space at the bottom edge of the bed is not much wider, with a dresser taking up a lot of space between the wall and the bottom edge of the bed.

The bed is not centered in the room so the near side has a little more room, but not by much.

It’s all worth it though, for the bed ritual.

The bed ritual takes all day, but it’s worth it. It starts when I get up in the morning. I strip the bed sheets and pillowcases and put them in the washing machine. Hot water, unscented soap, of course.

While the sheets wash I get some disinfectant wipes and wipe down the waterbed mattress. Every six months I “burp” the bed by inserting the special doohickey that allows air out, but not wate,r into the water nozzle. Then I climb on the mattress at the end farthest from the water nozzle and roll towards the nozzle, driving air out via the doohickey.

Soon after this, the washing machine finishes with the sheets. I do not put them in the dryer, but put them outside in the sun on the clothesline. They stay there the whole day, absorbing the smell of the sun and the outdoors.

About two hours before I go to bed, I bring the sheets and pillowcases in from the clothesline and make the bed. I use flat sheets, not the ones with elastic corners. The bottom sheet gets tucked in along the bottom edge of the mattress. I then scoot along the far side and tuck in the reachable half of the top edge and all of the far edge. No wrinkles are allowed.

Then I go to the near edge and tuck in the other half of the top edge and all of the near edge. No wrinkles.

Next I put the case on the double queen sized pillow I have and put it at the center of the top edge. I have two other queen size pillows. I put the cases on them and then arrange them, one on top of the other, slightly tilted downward from the top of the double sized pillow.

Now the top sheet goes on, tucked in along the bottom edge and the bottom two feet of each edge.

This is followed by a bedspread my friend Beth gave me. It’s king sized so it drapes over each side quite a bit. On top of the bedspread I put a plain dark blue blanket. It’s double sized so it doesn’t quite cover the whole bed. Lastly I put on an old quilt that’s also king sized and drapes over the edge of the bed.

As I said, this is all done two hours before bedtime. Waterbeds are heated and two hours is plenty of time to take the chill out of the sheets and blankets.

Then it’s bedtime. I take a long, hot shower and clean myself all over with unscented soaps and shampoos. I dry off and now it’s time.

I lift the top sheet and blankets just barely enough to slide in up to my chin. I feel the sun in the sheets and breathe deep the outdoor smell of the sheets. All the bedclothes are warmed up by the waterbed heater. Aaaaaahh.

Cruise on over to Amazon.com and get a copy of “Closing Night, Thank God”.


Comments or questions are welcome. Or just tell me something cool.

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