Testicular Emergency


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      My testicle hurts. Just one, the right one. Just a little. I decided I’d worn my underwear the wrong way and the pain would just go away, so I ignored it.

A Present From Susie-Q For My Very Own Self


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     For a while I was involved in religion; a Whoo-Whoo New Age Spiritual Center church. As with everything of this sort, I threw myself in with total commitment. As they asked, I donated time, talent and treasure. Which included “Free the Heart.”

Weed Whacking


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     Years ago, somebody gave me an electric weed whacker. I’d pull it out every year or so and fool with it, but I never get any productive results.

Three AM. Police


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     Generally speaking, I’m not interested in anyone at three AM. Publisher’s Clearing House doesn’t deliver those big checks in the middle of the night. Anybody around at three AM will come back later if you just ignore them.